I was on my way home today.
And i stared into the most mesmerising brown eyes which pierced right through me.
And i was even more surprised when i realised the person was asian.
And it was natural. Not the contact lenses sort. Oh man.

Anyway,
Talked to Ihsan today.

Heard something which made me feel a lot better. And happier.



Just wanted to tell you, don't expect people to come and talk to you when you don't make the effort to.
If you want help, ask for it.
Stop putting up false facades and expect people to read through them.
We have better stuff to do.

 

Haha.
But then,
Who am i to you?
Haha.
And why should i expect u to be there for me?
Aaaha.

Dang. Me and my nonsense.

I don't feel any better talking to you like i used to once upon a time.
Just end up getting more pissed at everything.
Why do i have to change myself just cos you suddenly decide to start psychoanalysing everything i say?
After an entire year,
Don't you know enough to just read what i say as just what i say?


A friend who doesn't know ANYTHING about me?
Do i not have the right to get pissed at myself?

There's NOTHING MORE ANNOYING than HAVING TO LIVE BESIDE A DARNED PRIMARY SCHOOL.
And you CANT EVEN GET A DECENT AFTERNOON NAP.
Let alone STUDY.
And its not our fault cos when we moved in there WASN'T a primary school, and neither were there signs that one was going to be built.
Gah.

Physics tomorrow. I think the paper's going to be scary. i mean. They testing 4 chapters for three hours?
Aah.
I should be studying.

Bye bye people.


Whatever your problem is,
I can't be bothered.
I think.

Like huge waves are crashing into you.
And by the time you get up after the first wave the next comes.
Completely over-whelmed.

I open my mouth, and i don't know what to say anymore,
Take out my pen, and i don't know what to write anymore.
Open my eyes, and they come flooding out like they're not in my control.

I don't even know why.

I'm tired.
The idea of tests, expectations and what-not.
I'm not used to it.
I don't want to spend the whole of this year studying for tests.
I want to commit to other stuff too. It'll probably make me feel better.
School's so retarded. Okay i do enjoy some lessons.
But there are lessons where i feel like just walking out and doing other better stuff.
Oh well. I'm so glad i'm going for chem tuition!
Seriously, its a relief to know that you're results are not in the mercy of. well yea.
But i shall persevere.

AND Padmini Parthasarathi, you're such a crack-up.
I seriously hope you can make it back to Singapore!
I'm soo looking forward to meeting you again! ((:
YAY!

 

"what do you understand by the 'superiority of free trade model of global trade"?'
NOTHING!

Gah. Econs essay to do by Friday.
And loads of stuff other stuff to do too ):
I wish i had 48 hours a day.

Haha its thursday tomorrow.
I like sitting in the LT in the dark.
Its as though you have the whole place to yourself, cos you cant see anyone else.

Had 2 hours of chemistry today.
Apparently i lack interest.
But I'm trying! I do all my tutorials this time!
But okay I'll try harder.

Was cutting stuff today. And was listening to GP
And i realised my thinking has slowed down a lot.
And that i'm becoming VERY forgetful.
Maybe I have dyslexia too. hmmm.

Saw Zhiyun today,
J1 life seems to cool.
I don't know if i wish i were in J1.
I shouldn't look back now.
Just move on and deal with what i have.

Why's my thinking so retarded?
I hope its just my lazyness and nothing serious.
Okay maybe I'm thinking too much.

Why is it that the most beautiful things in our life dun ever last?
Its like they come and go with the wind.
 

I'm going to stay strong, become stronger.
I'm not going to be swayed by you.
Everything's clear now,
And i know what i want and need,
And you aren't on that list with your rubbish.

I'm going to stay strong, become stronger.
I will not go back to what i was once upon a time,
Mum and Dad, You guys rock,
And I won't let anyone else change that

I'm going to stay strong,
I'm not going to let unnecessary people affect my life.
Go do whatever you want.
I don't care.

I really don't.